Kate’s Diary – Saturday 16th June 2018 – The Umbrella Umbrella and Other Things

Today we decided to venture out to the shopping mall to grab some stuff for Father’s Day.  It was a pretty expensive haul to be honest, although we did get loads of other stuff and go to the cinema and have breakfast.

By far, my favourite thing today was this:


My boyfriend kindly bought me an Umbrella umbrella.

Now, I do realise that this picture makes it look a bit like a dildo.  But I swear it isn’t.  It’s genuinely an umbrella.  And also, I feel that if it were to be used as a dildo that it could result in a very sticky situation if one were to accidentally open the umbrella up whilst using it (which is a bit of a double whammy because it’s very bad luck to open an umbrella inside) and you would probably end up looking a bit like a dilophosaurus.  For those of you who aren’t dinosaur geeks, this is what a dilophosaurus looks like:


I feel like I would have a difficult time explaining this in A&E.  And I feel like the old “I slipped and fell on an open umbrella…” just isn’t gonna wash.

Anyway, I digress.  We went to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and it was brilliant.  There were some kids crying and to be fair, I did jump myself a couple of times but that’s probably because I’m a massive dinosaur geek and got really engrossed.  Basically my face whenever the mesosaurus came on screen was exactly the same as my “oh my God, Asda have got the 3 for 10 wine back on again” face.  Mesosaurus is the boi.  Everyone’s always all, “oh T-Rex FTW” and yeah, T-Rex is awesome (obvs) but mesosaurus is seriously underrated.  Like, you for real, would just shit yourself if you were swimming in the sea and dipped underwater and saw that thing coming towards you.  You would kack yourself there and then, make no bones about it.

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