Being Grateful and Opening Up Personally

Journal Entry Featured PostThis post is a bit down to the nitty gritty and touches on a lot of personal issues so it’s kind of a big deal for me to write this but I feel it is the only way to truly express the gratitude I’m feeling right now.

After having a few bad weeks, I am glad to say that today I am feeling very happy – the sun is shining, I am organised at work and have everything under control and most importantly of all, I am feeling extremely grateful with my life. I’ve recently had some ups and downs which meant that the hobby I started and loved so much (Twitch) kind of took a back seat and I fell out of love with it, gaming, reading, leaving the house and all of the other things I usually love to do.

Over the last ten years and the slow recovery from the dissolution of my parents’ marriage, I have struggled financially, career-wise and mentally, suffering from anxiety and depression amongst other things. I have bad a string of bad luck with work, landing jobs in which the companies go bust or get taken over and I end up redundant and out of work, struggling to support myself and my dad who was living with me at the time. These issues have also caused problems with my longest standing relationship and I haven’t been the easiest person to be around, which meant friendships were also really hard for me to maintain. I have been at rock bottom for the longest time and have battled through as best I can mostly alone.

I have worked really hard since moving from the midlands to the north and it has taken me ten long years to get to where I am today, in a respectable, well paid job (which I am actually pretty good at), living in a nice little (stylish and cute – and she said so herself) house, which is well kept, in a stable relationship with a guy who cares for me. My boyfriend really has been a saint with me.

I have a nice little car that hasn’t broken down in a couple of months and I have three gorgeous little kitties that I love with all my heart. I’m also slowly improving my cooking skills, which has never been a thing and gradually become what would classify as a “real grown up”.

As if that doesn’t make me lucky, I now have a variety of different friends, from different countries who are all so brilliant and actually make me feel very cared about. My two closest friends ziggz86 and stance84, my very best friends, luckily live in this country. I met them last year and they have so very much improved my life and made me very happy and I love them for it. I can’t wait to go visit them in September. I have also been lucky enough to meet a variety of streamers since starting Twitch. I really like the fact that the community I have joined is full of such sweet and caring people who make me smile on a regular basis. These people are also very talented streamers, so if anyone wants to check them out, you can search them on Twitch – r1nger / godsendss / LilMonsterPam / PROJ3CTGD / SpenyGC / vertigojack / noodle3000 / AndyPinhead.

Some of these people have been with me since the very first days of streaming, namely godsendss, r1nger, vertigojack and noodle3000, so thank you so much to those guys, you’re all so awesome; G you crack me up, r1nger you give the best advice and are so very sweet, jack your hair is fucking dreamy (*swoon*) and noodle3000 your way with words is irreplaceable and I can’t help but smile at you, you cheeky fuck.

To everyone else – Pam your cosplay totally rocks and you are the single most coolest girl I have ever met, PROJ3CT you are without a doubt an entertainer and your streams are always so much fun to watch, Speny you and G are a duo that I couldn’t do without anymore and Andy – you have been so patient with me, letting me vent at you, cheering me up when I’m down and being my rock when the walls feel like they are closing in. I am so very grateful to have you and I consider you one of my best friends, even though you are so very far away, which I hate.

I also want to mention my friend Cheri who I met via Twitter who is the most brutally honest and hilarious woman I know, Cheri you are brilliant and I want to hug you.

And last but not least, my longest standing friend, Jack, I think it’s been eleven years for us now my darling and you have always been the sensible (and sarcastic) voice of reason, looking after me. Thank you.

So all that being said, I am extremely grateful with everything in my life and this is all down to the people in it. I am now positive and upbeat and moving forward with the biggest and proudest strides and being the best person I can be and I couldn’t have done it without you all.

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