Hump Day!! – August 29, 2018

Hey all!

Sorry I’ve been slacking on posting, but let me recap my past few weeks and you’ll understand.

So, the week before school, I found out that my financial aid was revoked because I’ve been taking too long to finish school. So that was terrible. I had to appeal that and it’s delayed getting my loans. Loans that I was counting on to pay bills and debt with so I’ve been stressing about that for the past two weeks. Luckily, I found out today that my appeal was approved so now I just have to get at least a C in all of my classes and I’ll continue getting financial aid. *phew*

Then, school started. And that was a whole new level of chaos and three days of class in and I am already feeling lost and overwhelmed by my classes and I’m super nervous for this semester.

THEN, I got a job. Which is a huge relief because it has good hours, okay pay, and benefits like health insurance and paid time off which is amazing.

So…amidst all this, life has been crazy. I’m slowly falling into a set schedule of things, but I’ve had to completely change to being a morning person from being a total night owl, and it’s left me a bit exhausted so streaming has fallen by the wayside today.

But things are shaping up. I have a job that should be able to pay all my bills which is a huge relief and I’m developing an actual schedule to my life so I can start fitting in streaming more regularly and hopefully getting back to regularly posting on here.

But ya. Things have been crazy.

So, just thought I’d pass an update on to all of you guys. You’re all amazing and wonderful 🙂

Till next time!!

Pam out!

Coffee and Thoughts – August 14

So, first off, I know I promised I would post something every day this week. But I feel like death warmed over today so it’s not gonna be a very long one. But it will be something at least.

I’ve been branching out into the world of art. I’ve had a few emote commissions I’ve done as well as sub badges and just little things for friends and strangers on Twitch. It has been an adventure and has pushed me to learn and do more art than I know how to do and I’m proud of how it’s turned out.

But on that note, I’ve contemplated starting a comic of sorts featuring the lil’ monster that is the LilMonsterPam mascot.

It would definitely be something new, but I love writing and stories and such and I feel like it would be a fun attempt to give my monster her own story. I don’t know if it’d last long, or if I’d stick it out, but the thought is there.

Anyway, like I said, not very long. My sore throat disappeared and then returned in full force with it’s sickly buddies so I just feel exhausted and can’t think very well. So TTFN. Hopefully I’m more alive tomorrow.


Pam Out.

Coffee and Thoughts – Aug 13

I’ve always been a homebody/keep to myself type person, same goes for my boyfriend, which may be a big part of why we’ve gravitated towards each other over the years. We’ve had our ups and down, including a few break-ups here and there, but we recently decided to get back together and aim for the long haul, wherever that road takes us.  A big part of this involves talking and being more open about things when they are bothering us, something that, while we confided in each other about things outside of the relationship, is difficult for us to confront to each other.

Since I’ve begun my streaming ‘career’ (a girl can hope right?), I’ve opened up a brand new world of online communities and friends that I never imagined I would consider as dear to me as, if not more so than, family. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time on my phone/computer chatting on Discord, Twitter, Twitch, etc.

Last week, my boyfriend was acting incredibly down, and after urging him, he confided that he had been feeling very far away from me, something that I had not felt in the slightest (I say this because it’s usually me that feels him being distant). Though he didn’t say it specifically, I gathered that it was due to the excessive amount of time I’m online and in the clouds, which even I admit is a LOT recently. He would never ask me to stop streaming, or stop communicating with my friends and such, and he does his utmost to support me in everything I do, streaming included.  We had three days together before some massive changes coming this week that will effect both of us in a huge way.

So, without his asking or saying, I decided to tame my online time significantly this weekend; partially for him and partially because I was feeling like shit and it was just getting overwhelming trying to keep up. (I have to add, I had a severe sore throat and could barely talk for the first few days, and being that sick feeling just made it way to hard to keep up with social media).

It was an amazingly, wonderful weekend. We connected more, did more activities than usual, and just were together and actually present with each other the entire three days. Yes, I got online here and there to send a quick tweet or check Discord, but for the most part, I was offline. I definitely had moments where I felt like I was missing out on things, or worried I would make people upset or something if I didn’t get online, but for the most part I was able to enjoy myself, rest, and actually feel better, both physically and mentally. On top of that, my boyfriend and I were able to get much closer again and resolve his feelings of being faraway from me. Towards the end, he thanked me for not spending as much time online the last few days. He told me he had noticed and it meant a lot to him.

Now that it’s Monday, I obviously am back online in full force, Discording, streaming, tweeting away, but it was wonderful to be able to do something so simple to show him how much I love him and now I have a better resolve to be more present when I do get time with him.

Anyway, not sure where I was totally going with this, but, it’s what I was thinking. I guess the moral is, don’t let the online world prevent you from being present in your physical relationships. It happens all too easily and sometimes has more of an effect than you can see.

Anywho, You guys are all fantastic people and I hope you’re having wonderful Mondays! See you all tomorrow 😉 (for reals. I’m determined to do a blog post every day this week, AT LEAST!)

Game Review: A Hat In Time (spoilers)

So, last month, I bought the Humble Bundle August bundle and it came with Conan: Exiles (which you can find Kate’s review of here), The Escapists 2 (which I have yet to play) and A Hat in Time.

A Hat in Time is on the surface an adorable, kid friendly game starring a cute little Hat girl that has a squeaky little voice and runs around with a top hate beating up Mafia Men and Spoopy Fire Foxes that want to die.

Our archnemesis is the Mustache Girl. Yes, you read that right. Mustache. Girl. She wants to strangle Mafia men and squish them into mush and bottle them up to kill them.

Wait….is this sounding less cute to you? Less…childish?

Yup. This game is fantastic. It has the look and feel of a cute, innocent game, with sarcasm (like the lever who’s only purpose is to control the brightness of the glowing panel) to morbid humor of how the Mustache Girl wants to destroy the world.

You go to Mafia town where you get to fight Mafia men that play pat-a-cake-punch-your-face and try to blow you up. And then you move to Dead Bird Studios, where you conduct a death-defying parade (literally. Don’t fall off the highwire or you will die) and then fight the boss who is more than willing to stab you with a kitchen knife and then try to blow you up.

Oh, and then there’s Subcon Village where you sign your soul over to some Spoopy black ghost thing and you can MAYBE get it back if you run some errands for him that involves helping a group of glowing foxes to commit mass suicide to fulfill their life purpose.

The game play is very simple and overall, the levels are very chill until they surprise you with CHAOS and you find yourself panicking and stressing out over everything and mashing the keyboard like crazy in the hopes that you won’t die.

But for real, this game is fantastic. I have yet to finish it, and I think there is a lot left to it, but these are my initial thoughts and I would highly recommend this game to anyone and everyone that enjoys fun, entertaining platformers.


Coffee and Thoughts – August 1

Whale guys, it’s a new month.

And let me just say: July SUCKED!

Between living in a fireworks tent and dealing with an egotistical parent making my life miserable, it was a terrible month. And it seems it may have been that way for more than just me.

But, today is a fresh start.

So let’s put the past behind us, Hakuna Matata style, and look to the future.

I’m starting off the month with a brand new living situation, I got approved for the university scholarship I’d been waiting to see about, and I’ve had an awesome day with all of my online and IRL friends.

All of this has combined to give me hope for a spectacular August! And while it may not end as great as it has started, I have all the hope that it will be amazing and I can only hope it is fantastic for everyone.

Let’s have a better month guys, here’s to August!


Coffee and Thoughts – July 26th

Well, I’m back fully online after half a week of living in a Fireworks tent. Literally, sleeping, eating, and just being there 24/7, minus running home to shower every night. It was painful. But, several bruised knees and sore muscles later, everything is packed up and I am DONE!

So, for the first time this week, I’ve been able to wake up in a comfortable bed, and spend the morning drinking coffee and relaxing and catching up with my online community. It has been fantastic. It’s funny how much more you appreciate things when you haven’t had them in a while. I mean, Starbucks coffee is great (and by great I mean tastes like super burnt gross shit, but it’s convenient so I drink it) but I am SO glad to be back to mugs of my “brewed at home with my favorite coffee creamer” coffee.

(Delayed warning: There’s not too much of a point to this post, so I apologize if it gets a bit rambly)

I’ve hit a patch in my streaming ‘career’ where I’ve just been a bit dissatisfied with my stream. I’m not sure what exactly, but something’s been bugging me about it. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a lot of negative personal issues going on that have brought me down into a bit of a depressed state and that just leaked into my streaming, but regardless, I’ve been a bit frustrated.

So I put some feelers out asking for feedback from the communities I’m in as well as in my Discord, because I didn’t want to just sit there and feel bad about things. I wanted to actually see what I could improve on. The feedback I received was wonderful. My regular viewers that have kept coming back told me that they stay and watch for my personality and because I’m real. And I appreciated hearing that so much. When I started streaming, I didn’t have a huge understanding of what Twitch was, so one friend that I’d talked about streaming with told me that to get “big” on Twitch you had to be a (and I quote) “Titty Streamer”.

I did NOT want to be that. So I went into this doubting that I would actually be successful. And yet, I’m now affiliated, just hit 200 followers, and I’m proud of what I’ve done. So hearing from my viewers that they love my channel for who I am was the best feedback I could possibly ask for.

I always try to be real. It’s taken me an extremely long time to come to terms with my personality and not feel like I have to adjust and change for people I meet. I did that for a very long time and kept a lot of things bottled up and it had a very negative effect on me, to say the least. Now, I can say that my personality and who I am is genuine. I’m a dork, I’m obsessed with Star Wars, I game, I quote movies and tv shows incessantly, and I enjoy it all.

I feel like a lot of people on Twitch resort to being overly sexual in their speech or comments, or they drink/get drunk on every single stream and that’s kind of part of who they are as a streamer. And I’m not sure why, but it tends to bother me, and eventually I just get tired of watching the same thing. It’s the people that are real, without trying to overcompensate in some way that I appreciate and I will continue watching. And I try to be one of those people too. I dunno, where I’m going with this. I think this has been something that’s been on my mind so I guess I’m getting it out here.

I’ve worked hard for my channel. I’ve met amazing people like Kate and Purple as well as some awesome communities like Prepare for the Mediocre and Asylum. All of these people have become like family to me, and my day isn’t complete unless I’ve had some sort of contact with them.

This is the one thing I didn’t expect from Twitch. I didn’t envision myself making friends with people and finding a family that spreads across the world. But I did. And now I’m . not sure what I’d do without them.

Anyway, I really feel like I’m being very scattered in my thoughts right now, so I’m gonna call it a day. But I will see you all here later, with hopefully something a bit more organized 😉 Love you all!


They call me…..Pam

Hello everyone!

I followed Kate’s blog from the start and I enjoy writing and I love Kate and she’s just freaking fantastic, so of course when she was looking for writers I had to put my name in the hat.

And now here we are. And I am stoked! If not a bit nervous.

Anywho, since I’m new here, I figured I should start with an intro/getting to know me type post, so you’re not left sitting there wondering who this random person is that is popping up on Kate’s blog. We don’t want to cause any confusion, unless of course you’re into confusion. Then by all means, ignore this.

And now for the most terrifying question (though I guess it’s more of a command..): tell me a little about yourself.

Well, my name is Pam. Actually, it’s Miranda. I began being called Pam by work colleagues and my boyfriend-to-be over two years ago. It started with giving everyone in the office character names from the Office tv show. And of course, being the only girl and being kind of awesome (cough cough) I was dubbed Pam. Now, two years of my boyfriend calling me Pam as a nickname/pet name and delving into MMO gaming (WoW) later, I respond to Pam as if it were my real name and it honestly can be weird being called Miranda at times. So, long story short, you can call me either 🙂

I’m a huge Star Wars fan, and I’ll admit I haven’t played FF so I didn’t get Kate’s name when I met her. And I thought sith was a Star Wars reference. I have since been educated. I share the apparently unpopular opinion that the Last Jedi was an amazingly done movie.

I also am a huge Batman (read that as Joker and Harley) fan and cosplay as Harley Quinn at conventions and such. My twitch name came from Harley Quinn’s shirt in the Suicide Squad movie and a lot of my page is Harley Quinn themed.

I’m in the process of writing a book, but it’s been a very long process so who knows if it will ever be finished. But I hope one day to become a published author.

I’m attending school to get a degree in Computer Engineering so I can design the tiny processor chips and such that go into electronics (ideally, who knows if that will happen). I have about a year and a half left. So close!!

My other dream is to run a little coffee and pastry cafe. I feel like that would be delightful and I love coffee and baking so I think I could pull it off.

Last thing of note is that I am a proud mom to an American Pit Bull Terrier named Loki. He’s the laziest dog you will ever meet but he is so sweet and loves people and he’s pretty freaking good looking for a dog. 06678EA5-9846-4C6F-9F5B-9F5DD5CDD184.jpeg

We’ll leave it there for the moment, tho I’m sure you’ll be seeing more of me around. And if you read this far, I’m sending you a virtual hug!