Getting rid of the pasty or jaundiced look – The Body Shop: Drops of Youth Skincare Review

I have stated in the past previously that I am not very good at being a “girl”. Basically, anything involving hair, make-up, clothing, or generally look good or in any way, shape or form, “like a girl”, I suck royally at. I’ve never been one for spending a fortune on expensive make up and my entire wardrobe consists of cool t-shirts I’ve found in Primark (on sale, cos I’m tight) or bought from Game.

My mum took me shopping as a belated birthday present and we went into an expensive make-up shop, looked at a couple of lipsticks, decided that we needed both our kidneys and that £30 for a lipstick was more or less verging on outrageous and walked over the road to The Body Shop instead.

I won’t lie, I don’t usually shop in The Body Shop and any items I own from that store were bought as Christmas/birthday presents for me from my mum usually. I was quite surprised at the prices of some of the things on sale to be honest. I sniffed the various body butters and had a nice blueberry one in my hand as I walked over to the till, before deciding that £8.50 was a bit much for a body butter that I’d most likely put in the bathroom cupboard and forget I even owned let alone used, so I put it back.

Having mentioned to my mum that I actually really needed a decent moisturiser for my combination (shit) skin, she suggested the vitamin E products that the store had. We looked at a few of them and I picked one up and read the label. Nothing in particular jumped out at me and it was pricey at around £11 but I figured what the hell, it’s something I need and use on a daily basis and the “amazing” moisturiser I bought from Amazon turned out to be absolutely useless and actually made my skin worse. That’s what I get for paying £3 for “amazing”, I guess.

As I continued perusing the moisturisers, I happened upon one of the store clerks showing a customer a solution in a green glass bottle and telling her how amazing the product was. I’m a sucker for packaging and the range reminded me of old fashioned Victorian or Wild West snake oil type tinctures. The range was called “Drops of Youth” and my mum had seen me looking at it and came over to tell me it was supposed to be “out of this world, fantastic”. She did look at me and say “I’m not sure you’ll wake up looking twenty years younger though…” – thanks Mum.

There was a set on offer for £38 which included a moisturising serum and a sleeping mask. I wasn’t overly convinced but given that the serum alone was £33 (I nearly died when I saw the price tag), I splashed out, since it was my birthday money off my mum. I was sceptical but had nothing to lose. Except £38…

I got home, stripped what tiny little make-up I had on (light powder and mascara), off my face, cleansed and applied the serum. My skin instantly, I kid you not, felt cooler and healthier. It went on a little tackily and the pipette applier didn’t work, but a tiny drop went really far and I hardly used anything at all and still got full coverage.

When it dried, my skin felt lovely and smooth and oh my goodness, the smell. It smells so fresh and clean and lovely.

Just before bed I applied the “Bouncy Sleeping Mask” cream, which again, a little went a long long way and gave my skin another little “feel-good” boost of coolness. And I went to sleep.

Woke up this morning and looked in the mirror. I wasn’t expecting miracles but I wasn’t disappointed either. Whilst my skin was back to its usual oily self first thing on a morning, my pores looked small to non-existent and my skin was healthy-looking and didn’t look my usual tired and pasty. And boy was it smooth and soft.

I showered and used a face cleanser and then reapplied the serum before putting my usual light powder and mascara on. My skin looks healthy and perky and is even a different colour (a healthy colour, less like my usual Gothic or jaundiced look), not to mention the fact that the powder on my face, which is usually rubbed off by 9am due to my incessant sighing into my hands at work, is still on. Colour me impressed.

Finish this lovely skincare set with a candy cane scented hand cream and life is pretty damn good right now.

The Drops of Youth range has quite a lot of products in it so you’re spoilt for choice, but it is extremely pricey for tight-arses like myself, with most of the products being a minimum of £20. Works like a charm but puts a hole in your wallet.

When it comes to beauty scoring, I’m a solid 6

I came across an article today about a site which analyses a photo of you and tells you how pretty you are out of one hundred. The site has recently come under fire because not only does it score you out of one hundred, but it also lists every single imperfection you have, so you can see exactly why it thinks you’re fugly (or not, if you’re lucky enough to be that person). Apparently it’s bad for peoples’ self esteem and self confidence.

Naturally I was intrigued and having had self image issues for as long as I’ve lived, I was pretty hardened to anything it could throw at me. I’ve been likened to Spock (cos of my right elf ear), Harry Potter (from when I had short hair and glasses), my dad once said I looked like E.T in skinny fit jeans (I can always rely on you to tell it how it is Dad) and my boyfriend describes me as “over the hill”. So it’s all good. Hit me with everything you’ve got PrettyScale.com.

So here’s my results. Woohoo, 60%, so not a total write off. It also specifically says I’m “good looking” – but I’m unsure if it actually means “goodlooking” or if they’re using “good” synonymously with “okay”. Like I’m “okay” looking, nothing to write home to your mother about when you meet me. The postcard home would say something along the lines of:

Mum,

Travelling the world is really great, I’m having such a whale of a time. Met this sweet girl called Kate, she’s not much to look at but she’s got a heart of gold and good sized birthing hips.

Hope to see you and Dad soon,

Love From Your Son

I can deal with that, it’s all good. But what kind of made me feel a bit taken aback and slightly hurt (by a goddamn computer algorithm, not even a human being) was the list of imperfections that came with my score. They couldn’t just give people a score and be done with it, leaving people to wonder what they lost points on, could they?

So let’s tackle my imperfections:

  • Face too long – I mean, I’ve never exactly been called “horsey” but I guess now they mention it, my face is kind of long… I’d never noticed that before;
  • Forehead too big – again, this is something I’ve never thought because I’ve mostly always had a fringe/bangs so my forehead was always covered. I even uploaded a different picture and did it again because I thought maybe the angle knocked it off, but no. Apparently my forehead is too big. Like you could park a car on it;
  • Big inter-ocular distance I had to Google this because it’s a big word, although I had an idea that it was something to do with my eyes. Basically, my eyes are too far apart. Which is weird because I actually always thought that they were too close;
  • Wide Nose – yeah, I have to hand it to ya PrettyScale, my nose is the one part of me that I can’t stand. It’s faaaar too big. But great for holding spoons;
  • Bad Face Symmetry – so wonky face syndrome. This isn’t something I had noticed before, but then again, when you look at someone else’s face in a mirror it always looks wonky. So this one kinda hurt my feelings a bit.

On the plus side, I have a “normal mouth size” and “normal chin size”. They evidently don’t do compliments because it doesn’t say anywhere anything like “your little chin is adorable”.

60% is kind of neither here nor there, nothing to shout about but also nothing to cry solidly into my pillow at night about.

My boyfriend will be happy to know this score because he always said I was a “solid 6/10”.

Update:

I’ve decided this site is bullshit. I uploaded a different photo and got this result:

Here are the two photos I uploaded.