Hump Day!! – August 29, 2018

Hey all!

Sorry I’ve been slacking on posting, but let me recap my past few weeks and you’ll understand.

So, the week before school, I found out that my financial aid was revoked because I’ve been taking too long to finish school. So that was terrible. I had to appeal that and it’s delayed getting my loans. Loans that I was counting on to pay bills and debt with so I’ve been stressing about that for the past two weeks. Luckily, I found out today that my appeal was approved so now I just have to get at least a C in all of my classes and I’ll continue getting financial aid. *phew*

Then, school started. And that was a whole new level of chaos and three days of class in and I am already feeling lost and overwhelmed by my classes and I’m super nervous for this semester.

THEN, I got a job. Which is a huge relief because it has good hours, okay pay, and benefits like health insurance and paid time off which is amazing.

So…amidst all this, life has been crazy. I’m slowly falling into a set schedule of things, but I’ve had to completely change to being a morning person from being a total night owl, and it’s left me a bit exhausted so streaming has fallen by the wayside today.

But things are shaping up. I have a job that should be able to pay all my bills which is a huge relief and I’m developing an actual schedule to my life so I can start fitting in streaming more regularly and hopefully getting back to regularly posting on here.

But ya. Things have been crazy.

So, just thought I’d pass an update on to all of you guys. You’re all amazing and wonderful 🙂

Till next time!!

Pam out!

Coffee and Thoughts – August 14

So, first off, I know I promised I would post something every day this week. But I feel like death warmed over today so it’s not gonna be a very long one. But it will be something at least.

I’ve been branching out into the world of art. I’ve had a few emote commissions I’ve done as well as sub badges and just little things for friends and strangers on Twitch. It has been an adventure and has pushed me to learn and do more art than I know how to do and I’m proud of how it’s turned out.

But on that note, I’ve contemplated starting a comic of sorts featuring the lil’ monster that is the LilMonsterPam mascot.

It would definitely be something new, but I love writing and stories and such and I feel like it would be a fun attempt to give my monster her own story. I don’t know if it’d last long, or if I’d stick it out, but the thought is there.

Anyway, like I said, not very long. My sore throat disappeared and then returned in full force with it’s sickly buddies so I just feel exhausted and can’t think very well. So TTFN. Hopefully I’m more alive tomorrow.

 

Pam Out.

Coffee and Thoughts – Aug 13

I’ve always been a homebody/keep to myself type person, same goes for my boyfriend, which may be a big part of why we’ve gravitated towards each other over the years. We’ve had our ups and down, including a few break-ups here and there, but we recently decided to get back together and aim for the long haul, wherever that road takes us.  A big part of this involves talking and being more open about things when they are bothering us, something that, while we confided in each other about things outside of the relationship, is difficult for us to confront to each other.

Since I’ve begun my streaming ‘career’ (a girl can hope right?), I’ve opened up a brand new world of online communities and friends that I never imagined I would consider as dear to me as, if not more so than, family. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time on my phone/computer chatting on Discord, Twitter, Twitch, etc.

Last week, my boyfriend was acting incredibly down, and after urging him, he confided that he had been feeling very far away from me, something that I had not felt in the slightest (I say this because it’s usually me that feels him being distant). Though he didn’t say it specifically, I gathered that it was due to the excessive amount of time I’m online and in the clouds, which even I admit is a LOT recently. He would never ask me to stop streaming, or stop communicating with my friends and such, and he does his utmost to support me in everything I do, streaming included.  We had three days together before some massive changes coming this week that will effect both of us in a huge way.

So, without his asking or saying, I decided to tame my online time significantly this weekend; partially for him and partially because I was feeling like shit and it was just getting overwhelming trying to keep up. (I have to add, I had a severe sore throat and could barely talk for the first few days, and being that sick feeling just made it way to hard to keep up with social media).

It was an amazingly, wonderful weekend. We connected more, did more activities than usual, and just were together and actually present with each other the entire three days. Yes, I got online here and there to send a quick tweet or check Discord, but for the most part, I was offline. I definitely had moments where I felt like I was missing out on things, or worried I would make people upset or something if I didn’t get online, but for the most part I was able to enjoy myself, rest, and actually feel better, both physically and mentally. On top of that, my boyfriend and I were able to get much closer again and resolve his feelings of being faraway from me. Towards the end, he thanked me for not spending as much time online the last few days. He told me he had noticed and it meant a lot to him.

Now that it’s Monday, I obviously am back online in full force, Discording, streaming, tweeting away, but it was wonderful to be able to do something so simple to show him how much I love him and now I have a better resolve to be more present when I do get time with him.

Anyway, not sure where I was totally going with this, but, it’s what I was thinking. I guess the moral is, don’t let the online world prevent you from being present in your physical relationships. It happens all too easily and sometimes has more of an effect than you can see.

Anywho, You guys are all fantastic people and I hope you’re having wonderful Mondays! See you all tomorrow 😉 (for reals. I’m determined to do a blog post every day this week, AT LEAST!)